Ifs and Buts

Ever since my trip to Hawaii, I have questioned the future of my relationship with my parents.  I had my doubts about this year’s Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Every year my sister and I get together with Mom to make Christmas candy.  Would this year be any different?

There are a myriad of ways to resolve familial disputes, and I was unsure at first which path this particular dysfunction would follow.  I tend to address problems and disagreements head on.  In my experience, open communication has always been the best procedure for mending wounds in a relationship.  However, this proves difficult when the other side prefers putting on blinders and moving forward. 

I can understand the merits of disregarding the past, of burying the hatchet.  Why pick at the scab?  So for this particular issue, in the interest of peace and in the spirit of the Holidays, I have agreed to let bygones be bygones. 

So this past Sunday, my wife Leanna, my dog Noah, and myself headed out to Mom and Dad’s to make Christmas candy.  My sister and her boyfriend were there as well, and we spent the better part of the day rolling out peanut butter balls, dipping bourbon balls, and cutting up fudge.  The afternoon went by uneventfully.  Dad, in his normal fashion, made himself scarce, working on finishing the basement.

So lessons from the weekend?  I think things will go on as they always did, as long as I let them.  I’m starting to see things from a new perspective, which is refreshing.  I haven’t been a civil engineer for over two months.  Now if I could only figure out what it is I’m supposed to be.